Fever Pitch
by TheGhostofStonewallJackson
Summary: Set during "Fascination". Dr. Akkad of Deep Space Nine has to come to terms with feelings she didn't even know she had.
1. Chapter 1 - Conviction

"Listen to your convictions, even if they seem absurd to your reason."

-Egyptian Proverb

She buried her face in her hands. The young officer had been warned many times by her former mentor that her face was an easy one to read, and now Naila felt compelled to hide her visage from the world for fear that some soul might read the story of her shame in her watery red eyes or shaking frame. But she was alone. She always retreated to the isolation of her quarters when she felt any sort of emotional distress beyond the occasional aggravations of treating her patients in the infirmary. Usually, however, she was able to maintain her professionality and put the civilians and patients on the space station ahead of herself.

"_But this is different_." The doctor thought to herself, holding back tears.

"_Why?"_ Some other, emotionless yet comforting voice from inside was trying to talk her out of her panic. "_You've been through worse than this._ _You got through leaving home and all those fights with father and you've done okay for yourself since then. If nothing else, you've done your best to stick to your values no matter what. Why can't you be as strong now as you were then?"_

Naila set her hands down on the arms of her chair and tilted her head back into the soft cushion. "_Because I'm used to dealing with my family. I've done it all my life. But I felt safe in the fact that I was doing the right thing even if my parents and brothers weren't always supportive of my decisions."_ She thought back to the last time she had seen and spoken to her father. It had been seven years since she had left Earth after completing her training with Starfleet Medical. The night before she set out to start her first assignment on the Yamato, father and her had yelled back and forth at each other for an hour. He couldn't understand why she would want to leave her homeworld. He thought that after all the hard work he had put into raising his children, that it was unthinkable that any of them would take off indefinitely as soon as they were given the opportunity. After all, he had tried to argue with her that she could have been a doctor anywhere, it didn't have to be light years away.

Yes, losing her relationship with her father had taken a toll on her, but that was different. Dr. Naila Akkad had worked tirelessly since her first assignment to her current position as co-chief medical officer on Deep Space Nine to advance humanitarian causes, to improve the health system of the Bajoran people, and to expand federation knowledge of xenobiology. She had all the justification she needed to convince herself that her intentions were pure, and in time the wound had largely healed.

"_Therein lies the problem."_ Whispered the devil on her shoulder. "_You knew what you did was right then. But can you say that now with the same certainty?"_ It was a disturbing question, but there was no point in fighting the inevitable. So, with reluctance, Naila allowed the inner debate to play out.

"_You're a professional, and your patients, fellow officers, and Commander Sisko would have expected you to live up to your title. You feel like you've broken their trust somehow, and you're ashamed of it. Isn't that all that's happened?"_ Of course, she was ashamed for making such a complete fool of herself and was paralyzed by the fear that what had happened had already spread amongst the crew by word of mouth. But was that all? Was it just good old-fashioned embarrassment?

"_No." _ she decided. It couldn't be. She had felt humiliation in the past but usually took care not to let it get to her. But this time, the anxiety was rising in her chest like a river about to overflow its banks. She could not tear her mind away from the memory of cool blue reptilian eyes gazing into her hers in the dim light of a hidden room. Try as she might, Naila could not forget the feeling of her fingers running through jet black hair and the pure contentment of listening to his heart beating through his chest.

"_Is that wrong though?"_ Technically not. No one else knew about that part except him. All anyone else knew about was probably just her harmless flirting, if that. It was just the two of them, all alone in the back of empty tailor's shop. "_So why are you so disturbed? Is it because he's Cardassian?" _Wrong again. The pair had been friends for almost three years now. In fact, he was one of the first people she met after arriving on DS9. She had had no problem walking around the promenade with him or sharing a drink at Quark's, or what have you. Sure, Naila and her companion had gotten nasty looks on occasion, but she had brushed it off. She made no apologies for their friendship.

"_Maybe you're thinking about this the wrong way." _She decided to entertain the notion.

"_Is this about what someone else might think, or what you think about yourself?" _Naila was struck by another wave of sheer uncertainty. Was that possibility better or worse? And what would the answer mean for her from this point on?

"_You can do this."_ She promised herself. _"Meditate on it for a bit. Maybe you'll figure out what's going on here."_ It was not as if there was much else to do here in her self-imposed isolation. With a deep sigh, she allowed herself to consider the events of the past two days.


	2. Chapter 2 - Tryst

It was the third Gratitude Festival that Dr. Akkad had participated in, and it was a welcome diversion from the monotony of station life. Akkad and her colleague as well as close friend Dr. Bashir had decided to wrap up over at the infirmary early that day and had left the facility in the capable hands of the remaining medical team, though not without insisting that they be contacted if anything serious happened. Her and Bashir and had joined up with Major Kira and Lieutenant Dax. Kira had conducted a traditional Bajoran ritual to kick off the festival and after that, the group of officers had chatted for a bit. After a while though, Kira left the immediate area with Vedek Bareil and Akkad lost track of them for the rest of the day. Dax as well seemed to leave in a hurry. In retrospect, that was probably when Akkad should have realized that something was wrong, but in her naivety, she had decided not to pry too much into the matter.

Instead, Akkad and Bashir had walked around the promenade, taking in all the spectacle of the celebration, from the colorful decorations to the smell of paper burning in the ceremonial fires. It was good to see the Bajoran civilians so at peace. It was hard to imagine going through all that they had during the occupation and still being able to find joy in the simple act of living.

Afterwards, Dr. Bashir had told her the exact moment when the series of regrettable events began. She remembered the uncharacteristically desperate look on Constable Odo's face as he strolled toward them with the Betazed Ambassador, Lwaxana Troi, clinging to his arm and matching him step for step. Dr. Akkad had carefully suppressed her laughter, as inwardly she knew Odo was probably irritated enough at that point but had flashed him a sympathetic smile.

Troi, being the excessively friendly socialite that she was, had taken Akkad's hand in imitation of the human gesture of a handshake. A considerate thought. The doctor honestly couldn't remember much of what was said, though their conversation was brief. The likelihood was that they had just exchanged generic introductions. She remembered Odo's exasperated expression, as something in Akkad's own expression had given away her amusement. As Odo walked away with his suitor still attached to his arm, Akkad was struck by a sharp pain in the back of her skull. It felt someone had jabbed a knife into her head and she recoiled in alarm.

"Naila, what's wrong?" Bashir had asked as soon as he noticed her feeling the back of her head for any sort of laceration. His eyes were wide in genuine concern. The pain faded as quickly as it came, however, and Dr. Akkad realized that it was not the result of external injury.

"I'm fine." Dr. Akkad responded. "Just a bit of a headache. I don't know, maybe it's just from the noise." She shrugged one shoulder as she spoke.

"Are you sure? Maybe we should go somewhere quieter for a bit? I mean, this place is starting to give me a little sensory overload too." Bashir suggested in a more casual tone of voice.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go back to my quarters for a bit. Is it okay if I meet you and the others at the party later?" Akkad had to raise her voice to be heard over the crowd surrounding them.

"Okay. I mean, I understand what you're saying. But if you need anything for the pain, don't hesitate to go down to the infirmary. And I'll be around here somewhere if you change your mind."

Akkad chuckled lightly to herself, much too softly to be heard on the promenade at that moment.

"Sure thing. Thanks, Julian, I'll see you."

After giving her an affectionate pat on the back, Bashir disappeared into the crowd and Akkad began to weave through the festivalgoers. Despite what she had told her friend, she didn't have any particular idea of where she wanted to be, only that she had temporarily lost interest in the celebration. Eventually, Akkad had walked far enough to be away from the main crowd. She strolled through another familiar section of the station. Most of the shops in this area of the promenade had closed for the day. The lights had been turned off on the other side of the transparent doors, so the walkway wasn't as bright as it usually was.

Dr. Akkad remembered walking there in a dreamy sort-of state. It was as if someone else had stepped into her body with her for a few minutes and directed her to the place.

It was the only shop with the lights on.

Akkad had been here many times. The space belonged to her friend Garak, a Cardassian who had remained behind on the station even after the withdrawal from Bajor. Though, she couldn't quite figure out why, and he was certainly not one to give a direct answer anytime a totally fabricated story would suffice. Bashir had introduced them the very day Akkad had arrived on the station. She hadn't started her assignment on DS9 until about two months after Bashir had. Akkad had met her fellow doctor and had a brief conversation with him earlier that morning. Already situated in quarters and finding herself with nothing to do for the time being, she had wandered down to the promenade, where she just so happened to pass by Dr. Bashir sitting in front of the replimat seemingly deep in conversation with a man sitting across from him at the table. Akkad couldn't tell who Bashir's companion was at first, as all she could see was the back of a striped shirt and head of black hair.

Dr. Bashir spotted her immediately and waved her over to join them, which Akkad obliged. As she walked around to the side of the table to return his greetings, she glimpsed the other man's face for the first time. Although she had never seen a Cardassian in person, she identified his species immediately from the give-away macro-scales that cast shadows over his deep-set eyes. She was at a loss for words as their eyes met for the first time. Akkad had expected to meet one of this man's people eventually, it was almost inevitable in this region of space, but now that she was standing in front of one and caught completely off guard, she realized that she didn't know how to respond properly.

Knowing he had her at a disadvantage, the Cardassian's lips spread in a smug grin. If a snake could smile…

Bashir, bless him, was the one that broke the awkward silence.

"Uhhmm… Garak. This Dr. Naila Akkad. She's just been assigned as my co-chief of medical here on the station. And doctor, this is my friend Garak. Please join us."

"Thank you, Julian." Akkad smoothed out the front of her uniform and took a seat at their table.

Garak, as he was apparently called, tipped his head toward her, the corners of his mouth still turned upward, and his gaze locked on her as he did so. Akkad remembered wondering if he ever had to blink.

"Doctor…" His voice had a subtle airiness about it, almost akin to a hiss. "How lovely to meet you…"

It took a minute for Akkad to come back to the present, and it was only then that she realized that she had been standing still by the entrance to Garak's tailor shop daydreaming for at least a few minutes. the door had not opened automatically, so it was possible that Garak had closed up and just forgotten to turn the lights off. Therefore, he wouldn't have seen her lurking by his door, which was a comforting assumption for the doctor to make. As soon as she had convinced herself that Garak wasn't there and decided that she should just get back to her quarters. A figure emerged from a door in the back of the shop.

"_So much for that."_

Akkad briefly contemplated whether she should just vacate the area to make the situation less awkward or play it out like it was her intention to see him. The decision was made for her a second later as the man happened to look up and catch sight of her through the window. He immediately dropped a bundle of fabric he was carrying on top of his work-table and ordered the doors open. Akkad felt her heart stop.

"Doctor, what a pleasant surprise! Do come in. I must say I was rather disappointed this morning when I realized that I probably wouldn't get to see you at our usual time today."

Akkad had somehow managed to completely forget what day of the week it was. Normally she would be getting off her rotation at the infirmary and come down here to shoot the breeze with the witty tailor after-hours. Maybe that's why she had come; by instinct or force of habit. Why else?

"Well, to be honest, it's a little too exciting out there, and I was looking to take a break from the crowd before I go to the reception with the senior officers later." That was the honest, direct answer he would have come to expect from her by now.

"Ahhh yes. Frankly, my dear doctor, I don't know how you're able to put up with it, so loud and disorderly. Never fear, however. I promise my shop will be quiet and unexciting for the duration of the festival."

Akkad relaxed slightly and let out a genuine laugh.

"Perfect."

She moved closer so that she was standing on the opposite side of the table from him.

"So what are you working on today?"

Garak didn't answer immediately, he looked into her eyes as deeply as he had when they had first met. As much time as they had spent together comparing different ideologies, discussing literature, and debating the ethics of different forms of medical treatment, there were times like this when Akkad remembered just how little she actually knew about the man. They made an interesting pair she supposed: the unreadable Cardassian spy and the human doctor whose soul was an open book. As he regarded her from across the table, he tilted his head just slightly to the side and his brow furled almost imperceptibly.

What was that? Curiosity? Concern? Had she grown a second head? It was impossible to know. There were no certainties or objective truths with this walking mystery. Every facial expression, every sentence, and every gesture was wide open to interpretation.

"This? Oh, I just received a shipment of Liseppian silk today," he motioned at the roll of impossibly sheer baby blue cloth lying on the table. "Quite a remarkable material really. You wouldn't expect so fine a thread to produce a cloth of its durability. It can last for generations." He pulled some of the roll out so that she could further appreciate it. Akkad walked around the table to his side and gently picked up a corner of the fabric in her hand. It was so light that she could barely feel it.

"It's beautiful." Was all Akkad said in response.

"Thank you, doctor, it's always a relief to know that there is someone on this station with culture and good taste." He smiled at her again. He wanted her to keep the game going, that was probably what that smile meant. That smirk which seemed to tease her and to remind her of all the secrets he could share with her but wouldn't.

The cloth had an aroma that was sweet and musky at the same time, and Akkad discretely allowed the scent to fill her lungs.

"Smells rather nice too," Akkad commented. This time there seemed to be an element of sincere confusion on Garak's face.

"My dear doctor, surely you can't be serious. Most people are so offended by the smell that it's customary to thoroughly wash the material before incorporating it into a garment."

Akkad raised her hand closer to her face and caught a whiff of an odor that she could only describe as a cross between horseradish and dog shit.

"Ugh, I see what you mean. There must be something else then…" the doctor trailed off as she unconsciously shifted a little closer to him and realized what the source of the more pleasant scent was.

"Why thank you, doctor. Now I know why you continue to tolerate my humble presence."

A warm heat rose in her cheeks. She must have blushed fiercely. That was the moment, though Dr. Bashir would never know when things really started to go downhill. Without any real conscious thought, her hand crept across the table and slid over his. his flesh was cool and smooth, typical of a reptiloid species.

Akkad froze and stammered. "I, uh, umm, I don't know…" It is difficult to explain exactly what it is like to come under the influence of empath the way Akkad had been that fateful hour. But it was as if all rational thought had left her, and instead had been replaced by a wave of passionate, desperate longing that she had never experienced before in her life. Time no longer existed, and it didn't matter who might hear or see, the small-framed human threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his.

Garak nearly fell backward in shock, but he caught himself against the side of the table, still, Akkad held onto him. For once in all three years she had known him, that vision of confidence and control seemed unsure of how to handle the situation. Akkad moved her hands up to cup the side of his face along the scaly ridges and dove in for another heated kiss. She marveled at the difference in skin textures and the sharpness of teeth against her tongue.

Another moment passed and Garak seemed to regain some his composure. He grabbed her by the wrists and held her at arm's length from him. "Doctor, just what has gotten into you?" he gasped, once again, one could only guess if he was genuinely scandalized or not.

"Elim…" she whispered as if through a drug-fueled haze. This time, it was her unwavering gaze locked onto his. "Please, I've waited so long. I can't ignore how I feel any longer. Can't you understand that this denial is torture is to me?"

Garak's eyes widened a little. He let go of her wrists and stepped backward away from her. She only moved in closer.

"Doctor, is something wrong? Did you catch something from being around your patients?" He demanded. Akkad continued to close the distance between them.

"No, _habibata_" She cooed in her native language. "Everything is just right. It seems that the stars have aligned for me today. I have you all to myself." She reached upward and ran her fingertips ever so lightly along the sensitive ridges of his neck and observed in delight as he shuddered at the contact.

"Doctor!" Garak half-shouted this time, before looking over his shoulder to make sure there were no witnesses. "That was an entirely obscene display! I demand to know what this is about!" Akkad giggled like a child who had just been offered her favorite treat.

"You know exactly what this is about." Akkad purred through an infatuated smile. Garak regarded her for a minute,

"Are you implying what I think you're implying?" He whispered. Was that a nervous edge to his voice she heard?

Akkad grinned wickedly:

"Guess."

Garak sighed and shook his head. "Is this really what you want?"

Akkad wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek in the hollow of his neck.

"Don't ever doubt it." Akkad saw his nostrils flare as he inhaled slowly.

"Doors shut, lights off."

The wiring and machinery hidden in the walls obeyed his voice and plunged the pair into darkness. Akkad's eyes were still adjusting to the light level when Garak placed a hand on her lower back. He gently pushed her toward the back of the shop and into the room in the back wall he had first appeared from. The door slid shut behind them and set of dim lights in the ceiling activated.

Despite the number of times Akkad had been to the shop, she'd never been in this room. It appeared to be a combination of a storage closet and a dressing area based on the rolls of fabric stacked on shelves and the full-length mirror in the corner. Garak released her and maneuvered around so that they were face-to-face with another. He seemed less disturbed now that he was sure that he was the only witness to the bizarre licentious behavior of his usually uptight human companion. Still, he did not enjoy behavior in others that he could not predict or understand, and it was obvious to Garak that he had missed some clues about human nature despite the frequency of their interactions. Perhaps this was an opportunity for further study.

Once again Akkad pulled him into her embrace and breathed in the wonderful musky scent of his skin. His pheromones only added fuel to the fire in her brought on by the Betazed's empathic influence. Her cheek brushed against his jawline and she left a trail of kisses down to his chin before giving it a playful nip. Akkad was not usually the sort of partner to be so concentrated on the foreplay, but now that this exotic specimen was in her arms, she wanted to savor every second they had.

She raised her mouth again to his, this time with a warmth and gentleness that Garak had not experienced in a long time. Definitely not since he had been sent into exile. As Akkad slipped her tongue into his mouth, exploring and tasting, his nerves relaxed more as base instincts began to take over. The doctor reached up and nuzzled the bony crest of his forehead in a flattering gesture before coming back down again.

Akkad allowed her nimble fingers to drift back down to his shoulders. They explored every rise and crevice this time, not an inch was left unconquered. Garak leaned forward a little to give her better access. The tips of their noses brushed ever so slightly, and Akkad noted how his breathing had quickened and the spongy erectile tissue of his ridges was engorged with blood, a display of virility in his species.

"Doctor…"

Garak drew the word out in a long hiss. His arms were stick-straight and pressed hard to the sides of his body. But she was getting to him now, and it all it took was some gentle persuasion. In a swift movement, she sank her teeth into his shoulder ridge, careful not to draw any blood. His gasped aloud in shock. His hands grabbed her hips and pulled her tight against him.

Akkad laughed with sheer abandon and reveled in her victory. She had her beloved's attention now. Garak left a trail of stinging love bites down her neck and pulled at the strap of her dress in a frenzy. She decided to indulge him and brushed her dark curls to the side so he could focus that raw determination on untying the knot of her halter-neck. He tore into it and let the front of her dress fall to her waist. The two parted for a moment as Akkad's alien partner took her in.

"My, my, doctor. It seems I was mistaken. You do hide your secrets well." Garak wasn't even trying to hide the lascivious edge to his voice. And what a voice he possessed, it was calm and gentlemanly on the surface, but with an undercurrent of suggestion and mystery that had captivated her since she had first heard him speak. For the first time since her arrival on the station, Akkad was grateful for the Federation's general lack of basic information on Cardassian biology. Venturing into unknown territory reminded her of the excitement of unwrapping a present as a child, unsure of what hidden delight awaited her.

Akkad narrowed her eyes and looked at him from under the shadow of her brow.

"You haven't seen anything yet." She earned another charming smile from him.

"Well then, it would appear that an examination is in order." In a smooth motion that seemed to happen far more quickly than it should have, he unhooked her chest covering and pulled it down the length of her arms. Akkad barely had time to register the feeling of humid air against her skin before he had pulled her back into him.


	3. Chapter 3 - Ardor

"Elim!" Akkad almost screamed as Garak seized her and took control of the situation. Her bare back was against his chest. Scaly hands reached around her waist and caressed her stomach in firm yet soothing motions, gradually moving upward. Garak brought one hand up and wrapped his fingers around Akkad's neck, surprising her with his grip.

"Mmmm… I never could have imagined you would be so soft, and so eager." He whispered into her ear. The other hand cupped her breast and kneaded the delicate flesh. His rough, reptilian skin was a wonderful sensory contrast to her own.

"And to think," Garak whispered again, Akkad could feel the edge of his teeth against her ear. "I hesitated. Who would I be to refuse you in such a desperate state?" Akkad moaned breathlessly as he tugged gently on her nipple, relishing the intersection of pleasure and pain. She reached out behind her and felt her way down the fabric of his shirt and pulled at the waist of his pants in a none-too-subtle signal. Akkad could picture the self-satisfaction written on his face from the way his facial muscles shifted against her cheek. An arm released her neck and wrapped itself around her middle, forcing her to lean forward before she nearly jumped out of Garak's grasp at an unanticipated smack on the ass.

"Ohhh, pretty little human. Haven't I told you that patience has its rewards?"

Under ordinary circumstances, Akkad would not have allowed herself to be dominated so easily. This time though, she was held captive by her female urges and every display of arousal on Garak's part triggered another amorous response.

"What are you afraid of?" Akkad taunted in a hushed voice. The question was received as planned, earning her another hard smack.

"Behave yourself my sweet, and I promise your needs will be met."

Akkad felt a hand reach under the skirt of her dress and creep way up her stockings to reveal the seductive band of exposed skin just below her underwear. Cold alien fingers slipped under the thin lace and stroked the top of her thigh, gradually moving toward the front of her pelvis.

"Elim, please, I - OH" without warning he grabbed at the material and ripped it off her. Akkad saw it land across the room.

"Get on your back, doctor."

As Akkad lowered herself to the ground, she heard the sound of clothing being unfastened and shed. A moment later and Garak slipped his body in between her legs. With his shirt and pants out of the way, the doctor was able to appreciate his handsome form from her defenseless position. He had the slim figure typical of a Cardassian, with a sinewy slate-grey torso and chest. Three horizontal ridges crossed his back and hips, and there were patterns of macro scales on his legs to match the ones on his chest. And shoulders. On his lower pelvis, where the genitalia on a human male would be openly displayed, was a bluish-purple membrane that sheathed his organ.

_Talk about exploring the frontier._

While Akkad was busy taking in every detail of his alien anatomy, Garak lifted her skirt out of the way revealing the expanse of golden-brown skin from her stomach to her upper legs. His throat rumbled in approval.

"Well," Akkad laughed, "Are you just going to sit there and stare at it." Garak looked at her with a smile that seemed on the surface so uncharacteristically warm and genuine that Akkad could almost believe it was meant lovingly.

Placing one hand on her leg for balance, He ever so lightly brushed his fingers over her drooling entrance, trailing moisture upwards toward her tenderest spot. Akkad exhaled sharply at the sudden contact, prompting Garak to probe the region with more forceful intention. After a few moments of exploration, he had figured out how to achieve the desired responses. Akkad didn't even try to suppress her instinctive vocal reactions to his progress. She may very well have come off as easily impressed to him, but all her past partners had seemed focused almost entirely on their own satisfaction. This was so different, having a male focus all his passion and attention on her body was almost more erotic than the act itself.

He stopped suddenly, and Akkad stiffened at the emptiness. She propped herself up on her elbows and saw Garak shuddering as the opening in the membranous tissue widened and a tentacle-like organ tumbled out. It was not easily comparable to that of any Terran organism Akkad had ever heard of. It was not particularly long, but it was much thicker than the equivalent human structure. It was dark red and vaguely hexagonal shaped, composed of several fleshy segments, each with a horizontal, ridged protrusion. It dripped a reddish-purple fluid, so it seemed that the male reproductive organs in Cardassians were more responsible for lubrication than those of their female counterparts. What struck Akkad immediately, however, was the fact that it seemed to contain a complete muscular structure, allowing as much degree and control of motion as an octopus would have over one of its arms. Garak allowed it to writhe around on top of her stomach, leaving droplets of deep red on her skin.

"Ah, now just look at what you've done," Garak commanded with a facetious offended tone.

"Well, Qa-fucking-pla, Elim." The doctor managed to moan out, still in a state of chemically induced euphoria.

"Naila, I should warn you, if I start this it won't be easy to stop. I need to be sure that you're prepared to go through with it." Akkad couldn't recall a single other occasion in their three years of knowing each other when he had called her by her personal name.

"You should be. I want to have this with you more than anyone I've ever met in my life."


	4. Chapter 4 - Revelation

Once the cat was out of the bag, and Garak had forever inscribed Akkad's confession into his memory, any last shred of hesitation left him. He straddled that inexplicable creature's body and caught her in another hungry kiss.

Akkad would later struggle to remember exactly what had happened between them beyond that point, or exactly how long their temporary union had lasted. All she could recall with absolute certainty was the feeling of entry and the resulting pressure which nearly overwhelmed her. There was the curiosity of his parts wriggling and pulsing inside of her, and how they rolled each over time and time again to repeat the chemically induced ritual.

The doctor's eyelids fluttered open and took in the soft lighting of her quarters, and the cushion of the couch pressed against her cheek.

"Computer, what time is it?" She muttered into the armrest.

"It is 0200 hours." Chirped an artificial voice. An ungodly hour. Thinking to move herself to the bed, Akkad sat up slowly, every muscle in her body ached in protest. As she pulled herself to a sitting position, her abdominal muscles cramped horribly, and she grabbed her stomach through the blue material of her dress.

_The dress_

Akkad was supposed to have met with the senior officers for the reception the night before. Strangely, the last thing she could remember was telling Julian that she wanted to go back to her quarters and walking away, and, and,

_And What?_ Panic started to seep in, like the first few drops of water through the cracks of a deteriorating dam.

_I never made it there. I went for a walk around the promenade and Garak invited me into his shop to talk and then… GOOD GOD_

All at once, the memories came flooding back. Every single sensory detail seemed to return to her and for the first time in years, Akkad broke down and sobbed. It made no sense at all why she would have chosen to humiliate herself like that. She confronted the possibility that she had been drugged, but that didn't make much sense as whoever had done so had not taken adequate steps to ensure that Akkad would forget the incident. And who had brought her back here? If some well-meaning individual had seen her in that state… Without any humor whatsoever, Akkad thought to herself that even in her academy years she had never had a morning-after quite like this.

Right now, more than anything, the horrified doctor needed someone to talk to but the humiliating idea of telling one of her fellow officers about her predicament was nauseating. She needed someone there though. Just one person she could trust.

Desperately trying to hide any auditory evidence of her crying, Akkad pressed her combadge, which by some miracle had stayed attached to her shoulder strap.

"Akkad to Bashir, are you awake?" The badge pinged less than a second later.

"Naila! I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear your voice. Are you alright?"

She couldn't stop herself from sniffling through her answer. "Julian, I need help, I…"

"Stay put, I'm coming. I promise I'll explain everything, okay? Hang in there." Bashir closed the channel and Akkad sunk backward into the couch.

_What is there to explain? _

She pulled a pillow into her lap and hugged it like a child.

_Maybe the less I know the better_.

On another level, she felt immeasurable gratitude for Bashir at that moment, especially upon realizing that he probably had stayed up waiting for her to call him so he could check on her. That man was a model friend.

After a few more agonizing moments of being alone with her thoughts, Akkad heard Bashir at the door.

"Come in."

Bashir didn't waste a second getting to her and kneeling down in front of the couch.

"Naila, I am so sorry about this. If I had known what was happening sooner, I might've prevented it. Are you in any pain at all?"

Akkad managed to crack a semblance of a smile.

"Feel a little beat up, but nothing too bad."

Bashir's eyes narrowed in concern.

"I brought some medicine in case you wanted it." He offered. Akkad nodded and Bashir pulled out a hypospray and raised it to her neck.

"That should take care of it. I'll go get a blanket for you." He got up to find one and returned a moment later. Akkad wrapped it around her body while Bashir took a seat next to her.

"You should know, that what happened wasn't anyone's fault. Turns out that Ambassador Troi came down with a case of Xanthi fever before reaching the station. It caused excessive empathic leakage that triggered unusual brain activity in several individuals she came into contact with." He explained in the clinical terms that would have been expected of an on-duty doctor.

"It wasn't just me?"

"No, it was about twenty people or so. After I gave the ambassador some anti-microbial meds, we confined the other affected individuals to quarters while the effect of the empathic field wore off."

"What a mess." Akkad snorted, though she could take some comfort in knowing it truly was not her fault.

"Look, Naila, I'm sorry I didn't get to you in time. I guess I assumed that you had gone to your quarters and didn't realize something was wrong until you didn't show up at the reception. I tried to com you a few times, but you didn't answer. When I checked where you were, I put two and two together and got down there as fast as I could, but not fast enough." Akkad smiled back at him sympathetically.

"Please don't feel guilty about it. Like you said, it's no one's fault." She paused a moment. "Does anyone else know what happened?"

Bashir shook his head in earnest. "All I mentioned to the other officers and the infirmary was that you were affected, and I'd transported you to your quarters to rest while your brain activity stabilized. No other details were necessary."

Akkad threw her head back and breathed a drawn-out sigh of relief. "And Garak? Did you talk to him at all?"

"He was the only exception. I hope you agree, I thought it was best he knew that it wasn't done consciously." Bashir explained with bated breath, waiting for the next inevitable question.

"What did he say?"

He hesitated. Considering his words with what he thought of as the utmost care.

"He said he was embarrassed, and that he should have known something was wrong given how totally out of character the whole thing was. He did express though that he hoped you weren't hurt and that he'd make it up to you somehow." Bashir was deliberate in leaving out the slight implication from Garak that he was disappointed that she hadn't come to him for real.

"Shit, it's going to be so uncomfortable the next time I see him," Akkad muttered into her hand.

"I can see why, but if I were in your place, I'd just take it slow. Don't feel like you need to force normalcy back into the situation. I'm sure everyone will be back to normal pretty soon."

Akkad snorted and rolled her eyes with exaggerated slowness.

"I hope, for all our sakes, that you're right."

After Bashir was satisfied that his colleague was indeed alright, he bid her goodnight and left her to her privacy. Akkad had tried to appear tougher than she was in front of Bashir so he wouldn't worry about her any more than he had already had, but the knot of anxiety remained in the pit of her stomach. She got and went to wash her face in the bathroom, noting the bloodshot eyes surrounded by dark circles, and her disheveled tangles of dark hair.

_Nothing that I can't fix and forget with a shower and good night's rest._

The doctor took off her new wrinkled and somewhat ragged dress and stepped into the shower. As she closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the water hitting her skin, her mind returned to the subject at hand against Dr. Bashir's advice.

_You know there's something he didn't bring up. Empathic disruption caused by Xanthi fever only affects preexisting self-conscious desires. It doesn't create them. So on some subconscious level, you actually did want to…_

"No!" she exclaimed to herself. "THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHIT!"


	5. Chapter 5 - Absolution

Though her conversation with Bashir had settled some of her unease, Akkad had been left alone again to grapple with the issue at the heart of the matter. At some point in time, who knows exactly when she had begun to develop a subconscious desire for her Cardassian friend. It was possible that the little seed of yearning buried deep within her mind had been planted the day they met and had been putting down roots ever since.

It hardly seemed possible that Akkad could have spent as much time with Garak as she had without some conscious indication that she had ever longed for more than a casual friendship, much less something physical. However, as she searched through the memories of the past three years, she realized that even if she had not recognized the signs as love, there was an undeniable fondness in her heart.

The doctor considered the incident from a year ago when the implant in Garak's brain, a gift from the Obsidian Order, had begun to malfunction and he was nearly killed when toxins were released into his lymphatic system. Akkad had never seen him so vulnerable with his emotions. He had cried in front of her as he struggled through the pain and withdrawal symptoms. While Bashir had left to retrieve the information they needed to treat Garak's condition from Cardassia, Akkad had stayed in the infirmary beside her patient, talking to him to keep his mind off what must have been sheer agony.

The hours slipped by and Akkad feared that Garak would not hold out long enough to receive the life-saving treatment. He was clearly exhausted and barely even able to sit up by that point, and Akkad could not bear the possibility of him being alone in his last waking moment, so she stayed glued to his side while he slept. Akkad checked his vitals and sighed when she only reaffirmed that his health was deteriorating. Garak must have heard because his eyes slowly rolled open and met hers.

"Doctor, you seem rather concerned." He whispered so that only she could hear. It was probably a last-ditch effort to find some humor in the situation.

"Of course, I am. You're in a precarious position here if you didn't realize." As always, Akkad failed to hide the trace of desperate emotion in her voice. She was at her wit's end for what to do. All her years of medical school and good grades and she couldn't even spare her friend his suffering.

"Come closer, Doctor." He offered a hand to her and Akkad gripped it firmly. He was so cold. The doctor leaned in so that she hovered over him.

"I am prepared in case this is the end for me, but I wanted to make sure you knew first how much I've appreciated your friendship. The hardest part of exile is being separated from all the familiar things that bring you happiness in life." Garak hesitated for a second, and Akkad could for the first time register in his expression the difficulty of confronting the absolute truth.

"But you and Dr. Bashir gave me some of that back. And for that doctor, I thank you. Everything you've done for me is so much more than I deserve." He looked almost on the verge of tears, and Akkad's heart went out to him.

"Garak, you're a good man and life here wouldn't be the same without you. So don't give up on me yet, okay?" The doctor squeezed his hand tighter, feeling the weak pulse within. Garak nodded and started to drift again.

"As you wish, doctor." He whispered before he slipped back into his slumber. Akkad waited beside the hospital berth, holding on to his hand as desperately as though it were his life, silently imploring whatever gods may be that Bashir would return soon, and the damage could be undone.

Through the contemplative lens of retrospect, it seemed clear to Akkad that that was the point in time when the damned spoonhead had become more than a casual friend or a curiosity to her. For a short while, Garak had allowed her to peer through the veil of his façade and shown his true colors. And the truth was that despite all his dissembling and ambiguity, his sarcasm and stubborn pride, he was only a man.

Perhaps between them, there was a mutual understanding. Both, in their way, had to carry the burden of maintaining their respective pretenses. Garak, as an intelligence operative and having been raised in a culture that discouraged total honesty and directness. And Akkad, who had to conceal the emotional burden of past trauma in order to serve her patients. A life spent lying by omission or fabricating a false identity, as Akkad well knew, was a lonely one. Even the people that one considers their friends would never truly know who they are. She herself had felt a gnawing sense of isolation for as long as she could remember, and sometimes it seemed like how she felt and how she acted existed in two separate universes.

_Going by that logic,_ the voice inside her head chimed in, _it only makes sense that you would be drawn to someone who seems to have you figured out. _Maybe this was something Akkad had been waiting for, someone to crack her code and let her know that her true self was a valid entity in this world and not a parasite living off her fear and insecurity.

_There is nothing wrong with how I feel. I'm just afraid to admit it and take responsibility for the consequences._

At last unburdened, Akkad rose from the couch and headed to the door.

"Computer, where is Garak?"

The door chimed as Akkad stood patiently in the hall of the habitat ring. A moment later, the doors slide open and she took a tentative step inside the quarters.

"Doctor! Strange of you to visit at such a late hour, but a pleasure all the same" Piped the sole inhabitant of the room. He was leaning back into an armchair with a datapad in his lap. Akkad had probably just interrupted his reading.

_Or maybe he was waiting for you._

"Hello, Garak. How are you?" Akkad asked, thinking of how best to initiate the conversation.

"Oh, quite well. Thank you for asking. But somehow, I doubt you came here at 0400 hours just exchange pleasantries, my dear." He put the datapad down and gestured toward a desk chair for her to sit.

"Fair point." Akkad obliged and sat down across from him. "I thought maybe we should talk about what happened earlier." Garak tilted his head and raised an eye ridge in imitation of the human expression of curiosity.

"I don't believe there is anything to discuss. It was an unfortunate incident that I think we both regret our involvement in, and therefore there is no reason to dwell on it." There was that stare again, his bright blue eyes were trained on hers.

_He knows I don't believe that. He's too interested in what I have to say._

"Well, has Julian told you what caused it?" Akkad asked.

"Xanthi fever, I believe he called it. It seems that your conscious mind was temporarily discomposed by an empathic field, resulting in aberrant behavior." Garak's voice was perfectly clinical. Akkad allowed herself a moment of satisfaction.

_I get your game now, pretty boy. But I'm not going to crack first._

"In medical terms, that's correct, yes." Akkad paused to return a similar self-assured gaze to make sure she was understood. "But honestly, at points during the day, I was able to think with a level of clarity that certainly was not there before."

"Oh? And what did you discover?" His grin stretched a little wider, encouraging the doctor to continue.

_Here goes nothing._

Akkad rose from the desk chair and strolled toward him as if with no particular intention.

"For one, I realized just how attached I've gotten to this place. It's so rewarding being able to help my patients and watch them go on to live happy productive lives." She stopped in front of him and leaned against the chair with one arm. "But it seems as though lately I've gotten a little too caught up in work and as a result neglected other concerns." She bent down a little further so he would have to look up.

"Come now, Doctor. You're probably just being hard on yourself. You've performed your duties admirably and still found time for more leisurely pursuits." Garak spoke with an almost paternal tone of voice.

_He's good. Too good. Time to go to the nuclear option._

"That might be true." Akkad agreed. With a quick pivot on her heels, she turned sideways and sat down in Garak's lap, putting a hand against his upper arm for balance. "But I can't help but feel like something is missing." She had never seen his eyes open wider than for that brief second. However, her choice had been well received as the object of her attention wrapped an arm around her waist with the usual nonchalant air.

"And whatever might that be?" Garak took long pauses between each word. His fingers rubbed the small of her back affectionately.

"I'm not quite sure. It's probably something that's staring me right in the face and yet-" Garak leaned forward and put a hand up against Akkad's cheek as he pressed their lips together. It was so different from what had taken place earlier that evening, it was so gentle and slow, with a deliberation that had been lacking before. But what better way to articulate their shared purpose when all words seemed to fall short? Akkad smiled into it and allowed herself to melt into the embrace.

_I win._


End file.
